DVDs From the Library-The Joneses

DVDs From the Library

In the library there is a bin full of DVDs. One may take up to five and keep them for a week. Don’t forget to return them on time or you will pay a hefty over-due penalty, or worse, they will develop a terminal mold and eat your furniture, flooring and, eventually, your brain. Join me now as I take a look at one…

“The Joneses”
Staring- Demi Moore, David Duchovny, Amber Heard and Ben Hollinsworth, with a cameo by Lauren Hutton.

This is one of those films that, if not for one small twist of plot, or one stand-out performance, I wouldn’t care if I’d never seen it at all. It would be wonderful if I could say it was a performance that made it worthwhile but it wasn’t-it was the plot. A number of years ago I remember reading about advertising agencies hiring young, hip, professional looking men and women to clandestinely promote their products. Wearing the ‘right’ shoes, shirts, skirts and jewelry these ‘shills’ would insinuate themselves into the culture of a club or popular bar and move the product. They would buy rounds of a certain beer, smoke a certain cigar or cigarette, eat a branded meal and popularize a branded handbag. I was fascinated by the concept. Gorilla advertising. Small firefights, wherein professional actors whispered into scores of ears attempting to turn the message viral and send sales north.

In this film a team of four of these ‘professional actors’ are formed into a sales cell and inserted into an upscale neighborhood by the agency. We learn that there are many such cells and Lauren Hutton plays the capo in charge of the whole effort. Demi Moore is the boss of the cell and David Duchovny is the ‘new guy’ who plays the husband. Amber Heard and Ben Hollinsworth play the daughter and the son. As a family they take the neighborhood by storm and sales (which are tracked like corporate batting averages) begin to climb.

As I said, the performances were not what kept me watching. The cast was OK but not great. Out of the four main players I thought David Duchovny was the best. It was his flip attitude (played against DM’s all business attitude) that I liked. He was, way down deep, kind of ‘beat’ in the 1950’s sense, and no matter how he tried, he just couldn’t do the job. He could sell stuff when he wanted to but in the end he couldn’t lie well enough. And when he did lie it tortured him and made him ineffecive. Ben Hollinsworth and Amber Heard were not believable as the ‘kids’. Both of them being sexually charged individuals and both obviously well past puberty. I wondered why the producers thought anyone, including myself, would believe that they could be high school kids? Demi Moore didn’t fit the part well. She was desirable and driven by the mission of the team. I just couldn’t believe her character like I could D.D.’s

The fact that this story took a real concept to a place just shy of Sci-Fi and made it seem possible (who knows maybe it is true!) is what made me like this film. I would have liked it more if the concept had been used to make a really hot porn film! Lord knows there are probably a ton of porn stars out there who could have done the acting as well (or better!) than this cast and there were a lot of points in the story that could have used the addition of some hot hardcore sex. Would'a helped a lot!

I look forward to seeing David Duchovny in a film some time in the future that gives him a chance to prove my hunch that he has talent. I hope I never have to watch another Demi Moore film. I look forward to seeing both Ben and Amber (perfect name for a pornstar) in a remake of this film due out in 2012 entitled “The Boneses”.

I give this film my “DVD from the Library” rating of---
Two Smelly Socks.