More Wasps, Bees, and Me

Just sent a stream of poison into a growing nest of wasps on the front of my house. They had set up housekeeping above the sash of the bay window. I happened to look up from my book-I was reading on the front porch-and saw a stain above the window, perhaps, Oh, six by eight inches in size. Looking more closely (this time with glasses on) I saw that it was a squirming blotch of wasps. Not two weeks ago I’d gotten stung by a wasp or yellow jacket as I was climbing the stair up to the porch. A slew of them came after me that warm afternoon. I think only one of them got me. Didn’t feel to harmful when it first stung me but after about ten minutes I was hurting. That was a wake up call and I was not about to let that happen again. I got rid of the nest (lodged under a panel of lattice that covers the poured concrete foundation). I’d been mindful of the possibility of a repeat performance, but I was surprised that the “wildlife” had decided to give it another try so soon.



Twelve feet up in the air they were building another wasp condo. It would be only a short matter of time before they would feel the need to defend it against me or some unsuspecting visitor ascending the stairs. I did what any red-blooded American homeowner would do, I got out the poison and eradicated the suckers. A can of that spray bomb can last around this house for years because I hate using it but in this case the suckers set up at my front door. They have acres of trees to live in. They could have set up shop way up in the peak of the roof. They could have found a home in the rafters of the carport…but NO! They hadda set up right on my front door and that meant war. And since I have the technology (Let’s argue the efficacy and the morality at another time, Please!) I zapped the shit outta them.



I fought their cousins the carpenter bees for two years and I won. I didn’t use poison. I did it with sweat and aluminum. I did it with paint and varnish and epoxy and they live someplace else now. But when I saw that wasp nest right above the entry of my home I saw red. An evolutionary bomb went off in my head and all I could think of was survival and avoiding injury. Self survival. Hammer and Tongs. Poor wasps-honestly that is how I feel-but in this case only one of us is gonna use the front entrance to this here house and I guess you, kind reader, know who that is gonna be. Me.

Mud Pickles

“Mud Pickles”

The cucumbers are coming in. Not in huge numbers but a steady flow of two or three each day. We eat them and keep up with the production but sometimes the supply exceeds the demand and the surplus begins to stack up in the ‘fridge and on the counter top. A week ago I took a jar and made some “quick pickles” with a twist. I half filled the jar with white vinegar and some spices and salt and sugar. But instead of boiling the mixture on the stove, I put it in the microwav-right in the jar- for three minutes until it was almost at a boil. Taking it out of the microwave I imprudently took an up-close sniff of the mixture and it ‘bout knocked me out. The fumes from the cooking vinegar were very, very strong and made my nose wrinkle and my eyes water right up. I will not make that mistake again.


While the mixture was in the microwave I sliced a couple of medium (4 1/2” long) cukes into spears. With my hand protected by a kitchen towel and the hot jar clamped firmly down to the counter top I packed the spears into the brine until I could push no more in. I topped the jar off with another ounce of vinegar so the spears were totally covered. Then I screwed on the lid and put the jar to the side to cool. When it was cool I put it into the ‘fridge. In a couple of days I unscrewed the lid and pulled out one of the spears. It was tasty. Crisp and spicy, but not as salty as a brine pickle. I had used very little salt. The sugar and pickling spices came through a bit but the overall taste was one of vinegar. I vowed to try again to improve the flavor.


So…today the surplus of cucumbers was such that I decided to give the recipe one more try. This time I used three different kinds of vinegar-white, wine and dark, balsamic. Also I used a touch more salt and sugar, and for drama, a little bit of red pepper flakes. I hope they are as good or better than the first batch but I will be happy no matter what. I will call them Mud Pickles, on account of the dark color from the vinegar.