Litterin'

Monday, January 22, 2018

Florida is not a very clean place. If I had to put a word to it “despoiled” would be the one. “Raped” might not be too bad either. Walking along a road around here in the morning with the sun peeking up over the top of the landscape and the fresh ocean breeze tousseling one’s hair is a joy until one looks down. The sandy soil is speckled with the basic colors of packaging, primary red, blue, yellow bottle tops, and foil-faced snack food wrappers reflecting the light. Bottles and cans of plastic and metal are everywhere. Also gigantic plastic cups. These held, on a one time basis, the “Big Gulps” from the Seven Eleven and not too far down the road from these plastic troughs one can expect to find the ubiquitous lid and drinking straw that makes it possible to consume a monstrous drink while driving. Pieces of old toys, hardware fallen off of cars and trucks, and the stains of the bodily fluids of those same vehicles leaking on the black top. There is scarcely an inch of ground that is un-scared by litter and waste.

And take care not to look up. The view up is not too much better than the view downwards. Plastic bags, not fruit, is what one is likely to find hanging from the sea grapes and oak trees. The plastic bag, which is a staple of the Publix/CVS/Walgreens/WalMart universe, is prone to escape and flies like the birds of paradise-up, up into the blue Florida sky and, either out to sea, or it nests in a tree. Snagged by a branch it lives on until the elements shred it and tear it and it finally comes down to join the rest of the immortal plastic on the road sides or the sandy vacant lots. This shredding, I believe, is what the plastic industry would have us believe is meant by “biodegradable” but really it is only evolved litter and blight. And “litter and blight” is being kind. Not to put too fine a point on it but those plastic products can kill long before they “degrade”. Wild animals mistakenly eat it and choke, get tangled in it and die. A bird caught in a knotted mess of mono-filament fishing line or a shredded plastic bag will not get loose. A turtle that eats a clear plastic sandwich bag that looks like a jelly fish will choke. But I digress. I was talking about filth and what an eye-sore it is and I am not a biologist so I will go back to my original thought.

While I am on the subject of filth, let me say that one must also be careful while looking up at that snagged WalMart shopping bag in the tree tops for a different reason. Dog Shit! It is everywhere. People in Florida don’t bother picking it up. And the places they have picked to bring their mastiffs and pit bulls to deposit that shit is the only open field in the area (except for the playground (where there seems to be a semblance of animal waste control) is the property where the water company has its wells. That logic or lack of logic is amazing! That is the place where our drinking water comes from!!! the perimeter of the well field is fenced in and dog owners come from all over the community to let their dogs shit there. I have, more than once, stepped in a huge pile of crap while walking there. I have never, ever seen any dog owners picking up their dogs shit there. Just let it rip and leave it be. Most owners will not pick it up off of peoples lawns either so the side of the road within leash reach is also shitty territory. Walk at your own peril. At the playground they do have a container where owners can deposit dog waste and they even provide plastic bags for the purpose of picking it up. I suppose where the children are concerned dog owners can be courteous, especially since it is an open space and everyone is watching while your dog squats. Who is going to ignore that social imperative? But no one is watching (or you think no one is watching!) while your dog does his business over the drinking water so what the hell!

I have seen evidence of some who put their dog waste into the little plastic bags from the playground and then, curiously, leave it along the side of the road or toss it into the bushes. The act of entombing shit in a plastic bag and then littering with the package is the ultimate illogical shitty act. Who’s going to pick that up? How long does the Plastic Industry Advisory Board predict that package will take to biodegrade?

So…what causes Florida (and probably other places as well) to treat their property and resources so poorly? First of all there is no reason for people to bring packaging (especially bottles and cans) in to recycle. There is no “bottle law” or deposit on the container. Other places that have a bottle law have people who profit, albeit marginally, by picking them up and cashing them in. Not here. Also, Litter laws are stupid and unenforced/unenforcable. Have you ever been or known anyone who has been, charged with littering? (except for Arlo Guthrie). In fact there are really good reasons for just tossing your crap out the window of your car. First, a neat person is only neat in his/her own car and neat people don’t want to ride around all day with the remains of a Pollo Tropical take out meal in the front seat with them. So they chuck it into the bushes when they’ve had their fill. Out of sight out of mind. Same goes for Burger King, Big Mac and Publix subs…The only driver who get pissed off at litter like that is one whose had it dumped in front of his house. That litter you can rest assured, will get cleaned up! Second, if you just finished a 16 oz. Tall boy of Bud Light you don’t want to get caught with the empty container in your vehicle. That could trigger a breath-O-lizer and a big fat problem with your driver’s license. Talk about incentives to litter. You can rest assured that Bud Light empty will be a projectile at the earliest opportunity. Add to the flying beer cans the stuff from kids who eat junk food on the way home from school or on the way to school from home…I mean kids, come on now. Dump the Big Gulp cup, top, straw, the Cheetos bag, the Jolly Rancher what ever ASAP before you reach the front door so Mom won’t pitch a fit! These are some of the great reasons to littler and you also know that Sheriff Dudley is not salivating to prosecute for littering .

Well, enough about this for now. I will try not to look down (or up) too much and just enjoy the sun and the air and the walk.