Anxious Hands

Anxious Hands

Anxious hands

Reach out to the magnifying glass

So’s to read the caller id

Punchin buttons

On a microwave to reconstitute a cup of this morning’s coffee

Feeling obligated to reach

Into the sink and clean out the whole thing

Before they can grasp the coffee cup and lift it to my lips.

Anxious hands

Zipping and unzipping jackets and pants

All day long as indoor outdoor temperature dictates

And an angry bladder demands.

Buttons and shoelaces and reading glasses

Off on off on off on.

Anxious hands

Straining to keep negative pace

With my thoughts

Which seem to move so much more slowly

Than anxious fingers and wrists.

That is why raking leaves is so satisfying

Why my anxious limbs push until they are past their limits

And there is no thought worth slowing down for.

Anxious hands

And gloves don’t mix.

Anxious hands need to feel it all

At the expense of cracked skin

And cracked nails

And blisters and splinters.

Anxious hands

Argue themselves red

And beg for time to heal.

Anxious hands

Peel and poke and shape.

They weed and mow and rake.

They bang and twist things into shape

They build and burn

And they do it because they think

That is Life

And when I finally catch up

To anxious hands

I will see for myself.

I hope they were right.

Back in Order

Back in Order

We have been back “home” for three days. The trip up from Hobe Sound was not too difficult. We stayed at a few new campgrounds and a couple that we had been to before. Frankly, they all seem to run together after a while. It is hard to remember when we stayed here or there and there is a sameness to them that sometimes dulls the memory. While staying in Middle Creek, near Buchanan Va. I think we’d both had enough and just wanted to get back to NY. In the past we’d stopped in PA at a state park (which was always near vacant, spooky, dark and quiet…)but this time we plowed on and swallowed the last 479 miles arriving home at 5pm. It was a tough push for us but the reward of getting here and sleeping in our house was significant. Gurler was particularly happy to be back.

The water and the heat, which I had turned off and drained completely, was turned back on that evening and I didn’t have any leaks or problems with the systems. We did however have a great deal of sediment in the pipes and the water that came up from the well was very sulfurous. It smelled like rotten eggs. I let it run to waste for quite a while and I opened the well head and treated the well with a cup or two of chlorine bleach. It is okay now. The smell is gone and the water is clean and clear. “750 feet deep”. As for the heat, the system seems to have filled without any trapped air and within a couple of hours we had hot water at the tap. We’ve had a couple of cool mornings and yesterday was downright chilly but the heat seems to be functioning well. It was chilly inside when we first opened the doors to the house so the first thing I did when I got here-after turning on the water-was turn the valve for the propane tank and fire up the fireplace in the living room. When the flame ignited in the hearth it was almost like the house had been given CPR and come to life. It made me smile.

Elisabeth bustled about cleaning and opening curtains. I didn’t get to un-screwing windows until the next day. (I’d put screws and/or brackets on each window against possible invaders!) There was, she said (though I didn’t see it) some evidence of mice. Except for the chill inside all seemed to be in order. I remember the smell of a closed up house from the bungalows in the Catskills and dreaded that in my home, but there was little or none that I noticed. I did note the full sound of the steel sided 275 gallon tank of #2 oil in the garage when I tapped on it. That gave my heart a twirl! The house came through nicely, I think, with no leaks, no smell, no vermin. I’d used little electricity, no oil, no propane all Winter. My seasonal cost had been some work decommissioning the place in the Fall and getting it back “on-line” in the Spring. As a bonus I’ve had a certain peace of mind all Winter knowing the place was not going to flood. If I do this trip again I will follow my own example and drain down.

As for the “body” of the house, it appears to have done well. The new roof (a story in itself) looks nice. It is a shade of forest green …the house blends in to its surroundings even more than it used to. The new leaves on the surrounding trees were a lemon’y shade of early Spring green and the hedges are all bright and strong. The new hedge I planted at the bottom of the property is coming in like gang-busters. The “lawn” (my patch of weeds) needed mowing. About the only problem I found was on the porch, where the finish has peeled and crumbled on the steps and the railings. I have already begun to strip, sand, grind and paint to get that back in order.  

Pink Balloon

Pink Balloon

I found a deflated, pink balloon on my morning walk with Gurler. I liked the white ribbon attached to it and I thought Lizzy had mentioned that she didn’t have any more ribbon to tie back the curtains in the bedroom. I stooped to pick it up. A hot pink balloon with a thin, white ribbon and something flexible and flat inside the balloon. I’d forgotten my knife. There would be no cut flowers for the window sill vase today and also I couldn’t cut the ribbon on the balloon either. I tried to pull it off the balloon and in the attempt I tore the knotted end of the rubber balloon clean off. I stuffed the ribbon into my back pocket where I keep the unused doggy bags. Then I investigated the strange object inside the balloon. It didn’t come out easily. I had to stretch the neck of the balloon and squeeze my fingers in like tweezers and pull the object out. It turned out to be a folded, baby blue 3x5 card with neatly printed writing on it. The writing was gold or yellow magic-marker. Two lines. Simply said:

“I pray that my kids get to know the lord.” 
“I pray that my husband gets better.” 

There are so many questions that came into my mind.

I have been thinking about that message all day.