Sixty-Five

Sixty-five.  Hoodathunkit?  In two more days I’m gonna be 65.  It is an important mile-marker, I think, though age is, in some respects, just a state of mind.  I don’t feel 65.  That is something I have heard a lot of people say-that they don’t feel their age.  When I look in the mirror I expect to see a pup of 20 or so looking back at me but I see an old man instead.  Sometimes it is a shock.  Mostly I am used to it now.   My beard is fully gray and my hair is turning too.  My muscles have lost a good bit of the tone that they had all my life.  I am reconciling myself to the ‘things I can not change vs the things that I can change’ and the things I can still do easily and those that I cannot.  It is more a function of what my body can do as opposed to what my mind can do because my mind is aging more slowly than my body.  At least that is my feeling. 

Things I cannot do easily any longer:

-drive for long periods of time.

-tackle large, labor intensive projects.

-jump off of scaffolds higher than 3 feet off the ground.

-stay awake for the eleven o’clock news.

-put up with stupid people.

Things I can still do well:

-drive to my job in the Bronx (though I wish I had an automatic transmission for when I get caught in traffic jams on the Taconic.)

-work in my garden until I get tired then take a nap.

-climb up scaffolds

-sleep until 3:35am at which time I can sleep no longer.

-keep my mouth shut when confronted with stupid people.

I look forward to whatever is coming.  I used to think I knew what was coming but now I know that I know nothing about what is coming.  I love my wife and I am glad I never cheated on her.  I love my children though I know they are more important to me than I could ever be to them.  I love my dog more than my own life-and she deserves it. 

The Cost of Fido

After reading an article on the Fidelity.com web site ( ), I am modestly self satisfied that I have never purchased one of the five items spotlighted as “five things you spend on and then never use…” That is unless you count the treadmill that technically I did buy but only because- technically- Lizzy and I buy everything together-even if it is for her! OK! I might have said I was going to use it too but we all know that I was lying. There is no way I would ever willingly use a treadmill. If I did use a treadmill it would only be as a prelude to a steam bath or if someone held a gun to my head.

The article highlighted five items that people foolishly spend their hard earned money on and then never get around to actually using. They were 1) exercise equipment, 2) swimming pools (in ground), 3) wine cellars 4) outdoor kitchens, and 5) espresso machines. I would not argue with any of the selections discussed in the article but (after a few moments with Benny) we have come up with a lot more examples. Tools (in general, and socket sets in particular), musical instruments (especially pianos), boats of all types, gym memberships (Absolutely!!), bicycles (we have five that no one rides), food processors and bread-makers, and pets.

The last one is a little more difficult to document as people continue to feed and walk a dog and probably take it to the vet once in a while to keep it ‘legal’. But there is not a shred of doubt in my mind that for many pets in the typical household the meaningful relationship quickly and absolutely ends not long after puppyhood or kittyhood. To define the word “use” with regard to pets I am not talking about hooking the dog up to a sled and mushing it to the store (although that sounds like fun and Fido would probably enjoy it too). I am thinking more of enjoying, playing with, training and, most importantly, loving the pet as one would love and engage a family member. As much as it is a shame to invest in a possession such as a treadmill and then not use it, it is a much greater loss to ignore a living thing. A pet becomes an extension of yourself and of your family. If it is ignored it may develop behavioral problems. It will likely be unhealthy in mind and body. It will surely make the owner question his/her desire to continue ownership and might cause them to put the pet up for adoption. In short, there is a cost of ownership for everything…not just swimming pools.